Domestic Flare Ups
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Beetlebum-Blur
Topic: Aimless Post


Good Evening,

Everywhere I have been today, there has been a rowing couple. My favourite of the day were the whiny pair in the queue in Tesco.

I wasn't really sure at first who to support in the row. I thought they were both loathsome. She was most indignant that he didn't want her to spend a 'bit of money, doing something nice for him on his birthday'. She couldn't 'believe he was behaving like this'. Neither could I.

However no matter how close to tears she got or how much I wished they would both die, he remained firm. He did not want her to 'waste all our money.' I thought he sounded like a bit of a tightwad, especially given that the 'something nice' she wished to spend 'all our money' on appeared to be a carton of Tropicana, a jar of Lloyd Grossman pasta sauce, a packet of Tesco Value spaghetti and a jar of Nutella.

Good God, is there ever a stronger hint that a relationship is dead and buried than a jar of chocolate spread? It is the sure sign of someone whose sexual imagination was formed entirely by More magazine. I bet she's also bought lager flavoured nipple drops and Banana Dick lick from Ann Summers. She looked the type. Can you tell I eventually came down on the chap's side? Not because he said or did anything impressive, but because at the peak of their fascinating dispute she did something I found so deeply offensive I'm angry just typing it. I'm truly appalled. She picked up the whole basket, contents and all and placed it on an empty shelf, then walked out the shop. I hate her, but not half as much as the poor minimum wage earning individual that had to take said basket round the shop and replace everything on the correct shelves, must loathe her.

Naturally her boyfriend simply trotted obediently out the store behind her. If I were him I would have gone to the pub. People with martyr complexes must be treated like tantrum throwing children. You must never give in to them no matter how bad they try to make you feel. If you back down they'll be throwing wobblers at every turn and then you really will be sorry.

Cheerio