I Fucking Hate...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: I Won't Back Down- Johnny Cash
Topic: Anger Is An Energy.


Evening,

Am I the victim of a prank? Am I on a newly revived version of Beadles About? Candid Fucking Camera?
Almost from the moment I stepped out of bed the public have been doing their level best to send me doolally.

There I was on the bus reading the Metro and enjoying the peace when a disgusting man sat behind me and proceeded to sniff as hard as he could then swallow audibly. I was close to vomiting by the time I got off the bus three stops early. In the rain. If I die of pneumonia during the night It will be all his fault. Why can't these people carry hankies?

Later after all the stress I decided to purchase 20 fags (Kensitas Club if you want to give me a treat). A simple transaction with a polite shop assistant you may think. And it would have been until that fucking crazy frog thing started going off. My God I'd been wondering for ages what sort of vermin voluntarily put that abomination on their mobiles. Now I know. It was a very small and quite cute old granny. I was about to beat her to death and stuff her phone up her snatch, when she explained her grandson had put it on and was refusing to remove it for her. Apparently his idea of a joke. The poor woman was puzzled and frightened by the 'ugly wee thing' and was surprised to learn it was supposed to be a frog. I am happy to report that a chivalrous young ned stepped in to change her ring tone and peace was restored.

However I didn't spend the whole day at the mercy of minor irritations. Readers there was a moment of sheer joy. My irritating work colleague has made a complaint about the workforce! Now everyone wants to kill him. Apparently we're not doing enough to make him feel 'part of the team'. He finds this particularly upsetting because in his last job he was victimised for 'being a man' by an office full of women and thinks it is starting again. Apparently 'modern women' think, and I quote,'it's cool' to be nasty to men. I was forbidden to tell him that whatever else he was victimised for it certainly wasn't being a man. I was also forbidden from taunting him about being forced out a job and driven to a nervous breakdown by a bunch of girls. For God's sake does it never occur to him that he's a sleazy, irritating, gullible, simple-minded incompetent prick and that might just be why people don't like him.

Well I'm off to gasp at vegetable molestation. I am glad to see someone's getting some.

Cheerio