Clairwil Goes Mad With Boredom
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Colorado Springs- Sack
Topic: Dear God I am so bored.

Evening,

A rather uneventful weekend to round of an uneventful week. I had the builders in on Saturday morning for all of two seconds. I have never been so surprised in all my life. They walked in looked at the vast gaping hole in my ceiling and said 'oh thats a shame', whispered to each other and then said 'right that's us' and left.

Call me naive, but I had faith in builders until yesterday, perhaps because I'd never had any proper dealings with them. In fact I tend to avoid them due to their habit of hanging off scaffolding shouting at everything in a skirt. I was ten the first time that happened, if only there had been the same fuss about kiddie fiddling then that there is now, I'd have had the lot of them lynched.

Moving on Steve has written a very good post about Robbie Williams' comments on the Kate Moss scandal. So good in fact that I have nothing to add to it, except to state that I never thought I'd say 'I agree entirely with Robbie Williams' and mean it.


Finally I have news of a new blog. It is called 'A Mischief Of Magpies' and it needs you, yes you. As the kind and benevolent ruler of this new blog I am graciously allowing other people to contribute. I have e-mailed several people and am awaiting their responses with baited breath. If any lurkers that I haven't e-mailed would like to be involved, let me know and I'll forward you the details.


Cheerio

I Am Being Fleeced By Experienced Con-Artists!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Discotheque-U2
Topic: Dear God I am so bored.
Evening,
Nothing much has happened except that I am losing money at an alarming rate. For reasons too dull to elaborate on I have managed to sell not one but three items at a loss on ebay. So much for that money making scheme!

I did a spot of shopping at the weekend and managed to be hypnotised into buying a concealer for ?23. ?23! I've never been so shocked in all my life. All I can say is that a better get laid as a result of that purchase!

Other than that, my life is incredibly dull at the moment which will no doubt please the powers that be. Having read this fine post about alcohol advertising I can only conclude that the government plan to put us all in giant playpens lest we harm ourselves. I can't understand all this 'health' hysteria. We are governed by people who think it's unacceptable for someone to choose to smoke, drink or eat themselves to death but is happy to sacrifice countless human lives in a phoney war to suck up to America.

Cheerio

Pop Stars Should Not Be Allowed To Breed.
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Gouge Away- The Pixies
Topic: Dear God I am so bored.




Evening,

I have been reading with interest about the trial of Otis Ferry and his band of trouble making toffs. I sincerely hope they are subject to the full force of the law! These subversive snobs really are the enemy within and must be ruthlessly crushed if we want to preserve our way of life. You don't seriously believe they're really satisfied with just killing foxes do you? You mark my words they want to turn the whole country into a giant 'huntin, shootin, fishin' estate and then it will be us they're after. Of course they'll keep a few of the most docile people alive to use as servants, after all you can't reasonably expect these grand types to squeeze out their own toothpaste. Lock them up!

Pop stars should be forbidden to breed. Do any of them ever manage to produce children of any discernible worth? I really wouldn't mind if the little fuckers just sat back and lived off their trust funds but they don't. They all start wanting to be famous in their own right and that's when the trouble starts. Exhibit A- Otis Ferry (see above).Exhibit B- John Lennon's sons. It's not their fault of course, if John Lennon was my dad I'd feel the need to take revenge on the world. Exhibit C- the Osbourne children. Have you ever seen two more spoiled, obnoxious, over confident brats in your entire life. They want the back of their legs slapping so badly! In fact I'm so angry I'm going to put a picture of Christina Aguilera on this post to annoy Doritos stuffed, whiny lard arse Kelly in the event she stumbles across it. Ah yes Kelly v Christina, jealousy is indeed a terrible thing.

Can you imagine what horrors the baby Beckhams have in store for us?



Cheerio.

Absolutley Nothing of Interest Has Happened for Two Days
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Pin- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Topic: Dear God I am so bored.


Hello,
I'm only posting so that you know I'm not dead. I would hate to be the cause of alarm.

Nothing of interest has happened to me for days. With the exception of the superb 'Footballers Wives' I haven't even seen anything amusing on the telly. This could easily be the most boring and uneventful week of my entire life. I'm trapped at home watching the world go by like The Lady of Shalott.

My sparring partner aka 'he who must not be mentioned on this blog' has abandoned me for the weekend to do something family related. He still hasn't grasped the fact that I am vastly more important than any member of his family. Honestly from his behaviour you'd think he liked them better than me.

Jamie4U on the other hand is still living a life crowded with incident.


Bye

No News Is Dull
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Jenny Was a Friend of Mine-The Killers
Topic: Dear God I am so bored.


My war with the Co-operative Bank is ongoing. They are winning. Bastards. I suppose telling them their much trumpeted ethical banking policy was about as ethical as Robert Maxwell was going a bit far.

Following that by asking if they were ethical because they nicked all the customers money before they could invest it in child brothels and nuclear bombs just made them even more obstructive. However they claim to be carrying out an investigation. I wish them all dead the hateful, hateful pigs.

Other than that I will be conducting an experiment in how far one fag, a tin of Slimming World tuna and #6:00 can stretch for the 72 business hours I am told it will take to conduct said investigation.

The only mirth in this hellish pit of penury and starvation is this weeks Holymoly e-mail. I have stolen a bit for your pleasure. Behold bloated dog abuser Kelly Osbourne's lyrical genius.

'Don't Touch Me': "If you could imagine the fuckin' look on my face / When I finally realised I was the victim of date rape."

Oh dear God, it's like Sian with a trust fund and a misguidedly granted record contract.

Save Me!
Have you raped Ulrika?

Festive Hell Continues
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: My Perogative-Britney Spears
Topic: Dear God I am so bored.
Christmas Day. Forgive me, It's hard to talk about.
My mothers appaling racism, My mothers appalling cooking. Dear God, please tell me I was a switched baby. I did not recive the presents I wanted which were a trip to Amsterdam,#11,000 and liposuction. Yes reader I have grown fat -All accross the Third World, people weep with empathy. Any advice on diets would be much appreciated.

I am thinking of adding a paypal begging bowl to the site to free me from debt, despair and flab. Then who knows -a career in whoredom awaits.

Mood:  down
Now Playing: What she said-The Smiths
Topic: Dear God I am so bored.
I've been pottering about all day and achieved very little. On the plus side I have completed a review of Tony Benn's talk at the Theatre Royal in Glasgow earlier in the week. However since then it's been the usual round of red wine and o God what have I done with my life. I have been advised by an erratically reliable source that a big political scandal is due to break in todays News of the Screws
and have been checking the online edition eagerly to no avail.Am I alone in finding the word beak really funny?