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Top of the British Blogs
Out On My Travels.
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: The Rain- Missy Elliot
Topic: I'm still on holiday.
Good evening,

I must apologise for the lack of posts over the last few days but I have been out socialising. Yes, people actually want to speak to me again. Hurrah!

On Friday I woke up to the awful discovery that part of my ceiling had fallen in, so spent most of the day harassing my factors. I then had to dash out at half past four to meet my friend and regular reader Alisdair, who had kindly agreed to accompany me to the opening of 'The Philosophers Garden' by Robin Gillanders at the Scottish National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh. I'm glad I went and enjoyed it very much. I had hoped to write something intelligent about the exhibition but a waiter kept following me about and giving me free wine in a shameless and ultimately successful attempt to sabotage my brain and note taking ability. I do recall being particularly taken with the composition of several of the pictures and finding one very atmospheric.

We also met two very amusing gentlemen of advanced years who as far as I could make out are spending their twilight years attending art exhibitions and quaffing the free drink. They are an example to us all.

I recommend that you go and have a stoat round Robin's exhibition, which is a treat, and runs until November 2005. I also recommend you have a read at this article about Ian Hamilton Finlay whose garden 'Little Sparta' is the subject of many of the photographs in the exhibition. I'm ashamed to say I'd never heard of Mr Hamilton Finlay prior to the exhibition and am completely unfamiliar with his work, however now that he has come to my attention I plan to undertake a bit of research.


Posted by Clairwil at 3:20 PM BST
Updated: 25/09/05 10:15 PM BST
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Is Somerfield The Worst Supermarket In Human History?
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: I'm still on holiday.

Good Morning,

I'm still on holiday but coming home today. I know it makes my heart so sad too. But those are the facts and live with them we must.

Today I shall just pose the question: Is Somerfield the worst supermarket ever?

I was in one before I left for my holiday and became distressed at the poverty of the produce on offer. The rotten veg, flies and stench of overcooked chicken was too much for me. I fled to wicked old Tesco.

Nowt to add but my next post will detail my adventures in Amsterdam.

Go on treat yourself.


Posted by Clairwil at 12:01 AM BST
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Mud Wrestling Topless Cats Fucking Real Pints!!!!!!!!!!
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: I'm still on holiday.

Good Morning,

I expect I'll be floating up a canal on a boat of some sort as you read this.

I am just going to mention a few random books I've read and liked recently. I shall not be putting in links to information on them because I can't be arsed and if you're too thick too copy and paste into a browser window you won't have much interest in books.

Yes Man- Danny Wallace
A History Of God- Karen Armstrong
Dare To Be A Daniel- Tony Benn
Reasons To Be Cheerful- Mark Steel
The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists- Robert Tressell
Whisky Galore- Compton Mackenzie
Diary Of A Manhattan Call Girl- Tracy Quan


Posted by Clairwil at 12:01 AM BST
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Useless Filler Content
Topic: I'm still on holiday.
Find a song to change your life. I'm quite pleased with my choice, though I would dispute that I am evil. I have standards that is all.

Take The what song you should listen to now to make a deep impact on your life Test today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

You need to listen to:

Red Right Hand by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

You are pure evil, but I think that you will find this song a pleasant addition to your life, amongst the fire and brimstone of course.

Posted by Clairwil at 12:01 AM BST
Updated: 30/04/05 9:41 PM BST
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Useless Filler Content-Day Four
Topic: I'm still on holiday.
Get a New Name! Take over Iraq! Start quaking in your boots George and Tony. Behold the first stage in Clairwil's coup.

My Iraqi Leadership Name is Abd al-Aziz al-Jizrawi Tilfah.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.

Posted by Clairwil at 12:01 AM BST
Updated: 30/04/05 9:28 PM BST
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Useless Filler Content-Day Three
Mood:  not sure
Topic: I'm still on holiday.
After that books business yesterday, I feel the urge to get trivial again.

Top Ten Fictional Females.

1. Clairwil- My fictional namesake and Marquis de Sade heroine.

2. Nana- Zola heroine and 'destructive force of nature who corrupts Paris between her snow white thighs.'

3. Lady Bracknell- Oscar Wilde character from The Importance of Being Ernest responsible for this classic 'we have already missed five, if not six trains. To miss anymore might expose us to comment on the platform.'

4. Bet Lynch- Coronation St's whore, barmaid, landlady, source of wisdom, style icon and work of camp genius. Being her back.

5. Lolita- Nabokov's literary jailbait!

6. Carmen- Heroine of Bizet's opera of the same name and my favourite femme fatale and general cause of mayhem.

7. Antionette Cosway- Jean Rhys heroine and first wife that didn't go quietly.

8. Tanya Turner- The definitive 'Footballers Wife', bitch, genius and style icon.

9. Snow White- Looked beautiful in a glass coffin, demonstrating a fantastic sense of style and presentation even in semi-death.

10. Medea- Euripides heroine and woman most defiantly not to be messed with.

Once again this is not an exhaustive list or really in any particular order. There are so many that I've missed, a whole host of fairy story heroines and Paquita from Balzac's 'The Girl With The Golden Eyes' spring to mind. As does Cindy from Eastenders, Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard,.
I could go on....

Posted by Clairwil at 12:01 AM BST
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Useless Filler Content (Day2)
Mood:  not sure
Topic: I'm still on holiday.

After yesterdays horrifying display of greed, I will try and redeem myself by recommending some books.


1. Against Nature- Huysmans
2. Catch22- Joseph Heller
3. Wide Sargasso Sea- Jean Rhys
4. The Girl with the Golden Eyes- Balzac
5. The Bell Jar- Sylvia Plath
6. The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde
7. Three Men in a Boat- Jerome K Jerome
8. The Little Prince- Antione de Saint Exupery
9. Frankenstein- Mary Shelly
10. Juliette- The Marquis de Sade.

FYI- I take my blog name from one of the main (and best) characters in Juliette.


1. England's Dreaming- Jon Savage
2. Sexual Personae- Camille Paglia
3. Screen Burn- Charlie Brooker
4. How to be Idle- Tom Hodgkinson
5. De Profundis- Oscar Wilde
6. I, Phoolan Devi- Phoolan Devi
7. This is Uncool- Gary Mulholland
8. The Naked Civil Servant- Quentin Crisp
9. Goodness Had Nothing to do With it-Mae West
10. Imagine- Tommy Sheridan and Alan McCombes

The above are in no particular order and aren't an exhaustive list of my favourites. They merely represent the first books that sprang to mind when I came up with this shoddy filler. They are all however very, very good books and have given me hours of pleasure. You really should read them.

Click here for more information about some of the above books.

Buy books here and earn me some commission.

Posted by Clairwil at 12:01 AM BST
Updated: 17/04/05 12:31 AM BST
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