Evening you miserable sinners!
You snivelling sin addled wretches are all going to hell. Well, thats according to Madonna. In case any of you are confused this is the Madonna that used to delight audiences around the world with her remarkable displays of harlotry, not Jesus' mother who is a respected authority on such matters.
I'm as broad minded as the next man, I accept that people change as they get older but I must say I preferred Madonna when she used to bang on about sex and religion all the time. It was a laugh. Now that she's dropped the sex, the religious stuff just seems a bit... um... mental.
Imagine if a tramp stopped you in the street and said this: "I refer to an entity called 'The Beast'. I feel I am describing the world that we live in right now. To me 'The Beast' is the modern world that we live in." You'd fire a bit of loose change at him and then run like fuck. In short I suspect poor Madonna may be in need of professional help. Ponder the evidence, she married Guy Ritchie apparently willingly, she sometimes talks with a faux English accent and sometimes a real American one, sometimes she wants people to call her Esther, other times Madonna and she thinks we're all going to hell. There is a schizophrenic that comes into my work from time to time and when they start talking like that their medication is altered and all is well until the next time. Instead people seem to be positively encouraging Madonna to make a buffoon of herself by affecting to take this twaddle seriously.
What worries me more is that she has access to guns at her English mansion. Fuck going to see her live.