Now Playing: Superstition-The Kills
Topic: Comic Relief
Would it surprise you to learn that I fucking hate Comic Relief? A whole night of telly ruined and disrupted by a gurning shower of evil, overpaid, moronic, rich scum. It deserves some credit for managing to be more disgusting and pointless than Children in Need which at least has Terry Wogan as it's sole plus point. Dawn Fucking French will no doubt be bouncing around our screens 'I'm fat me!' 'Look Look I'm morbidly obese!' 'I eat chocolate!''I'm fat but I like shagging!' 'oooooh I'm so naughty'-Oh the hilarity! That woman should not be in comedy she should be in a girdle or a large wooden box buried deep in the earths core. Just get her off my telly before I start killing people.
My final word on that witless whale- Is it just me or is it a bit tasteless to have that lard bucket glorying in her unrestrained self indulgence on a programme which raises money for the starving? Or is that the joke? Have I finally 'got' Comic Relief?
It's not that I disapprove of charity, I just resent being told to put my hand in my pocket by a shower of rich, tax evading scum. I wouldn't even mind so much if it was funny but it's ropey, cheap 'will this do' TV.
And now, gasp as I demonstrate my uncanny psychic powers. Robbie Williams performance in the Comic Relief Little Britain special was so desperate, 'everyone look at me' and over the top it ruined a potentially mildly amusing sketch. How do I know this without having seen it? Instinct, pure instinct. Still let's all take a moment to imagine how Gary Barlow feels every time Robbie's idiotic mug appears on telly. I know- it never fails to make me laugh either.
I read in todays Herald that if you type fuckwit into google John Prescott's name comes up. I haven't tried it yet partly because it seems too good to be true and I can't face the disappointment at this time.
So people- tomorrow night boycott Comic Relief donate directly to the charity of your choice and then we can all get some real comic relief as the wacky, 'good sports' presenting this travesty are forced to admit they've only raised a fiver.