Now Playing: The Nations Best Loved Poems- BBC Radio Collection.
Topic: The horror the horror!
A bit of a cobbled together collection of tit bits for you this evening.
Firstly I would like to express my outrage at the horrifying fate that has befallen Steve. Poor Steve is being tormented by a maniac who has an unhealthy obsession with Christina Aguilera. The maniac is fucking up his stats by repeatedly visiting his blog looking for Ms Aguilera, either that, or they have sat on their mouse mid search. The mind boggles. In any case I hope the perpetrator has rocks and boots thrown at his head when he is caught.
Moving on, I have some consumer news for you. Yes readers I have come over all Watchdog! As we are all aware, banks are cunts. Evil cunts who like nothing better to bankrupt you with absurd and extortionate bank charges. Well readers you no longer have to stand for it. The lovely people at The Govan Law Centre have a handy online guide to getting bank charges refunded. It's as easy as falling off a log. I have tried it and it worked a treat. The legal bits apply in Scotland, England and Wales so people the UK over can unite to piss off a few banks. Perhaps if we really try we might be able to put a couple out of business. Won't that be a hoot?
Finally Alan has returned from his fishing trip. He very nearly caught a giant fish but it escaped. I'm quite disappointed at this news as I was hoping to bully a trout or two out of him, so that I could have them stuffed and mounted and tell everyone I caught them with my bare hands. I'm afraid I behaved rather badly the last time I was given a fish. My neighbour at my parents caught a vast salmon and very kindly gave us a bit. I ate one small mouthful which I spat out, complaining that I only ate tinned salmon. In my defence I was only seven at the time.