I Fucking Hate Cameras At Parties!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Got Your Money- Ol' Dirty Bastard
Topic: Persecution.

Evening,

Depending on the company I have been known to enjoy a party. Yes, swishing around, drinking myself silly, deluding myself that people are laughing with rather than at me. Imagine if you will, young Clairwil done up like a beast telling one of her eight jokes and flaunting at least two of her affectations. A happy scene until some fucker appears with a camera. No matter how many times I explain that I can't be photographed they will not be restrained. 'I'm special like Diana' I say ' If you persist in brandishing that lens at me I will surely die in a car crash' I explain. All to no avail.

I recently had the horrifying experience of being shown pictures of myself at the work's Christmas party. I did not want them taken. I did not want to see them. I explained all this to no avail. What is wrong with these people?

If those pictures had never been taken I would never have known I look like Meatloaf only fatter, redder and sweatier. I don't look like that in the mirror. How on earth did I change in to Meatloaf in front of a camera? I am pictured with three pensioners and am still the least attractive person in the photo!

Earlier in the week a member of staff at the BBC commented that I should have my own show because I was 'fucking hilarious', 'mental' and 'wasted' in my current job. Now there are pictures being circulated of me looking like fucking Meatloaf. My T.V career surely lies in tatters.

Moving on, I found this test on this excellent blog and pinched it. Apparently I am Apocalypse Now. I've never seen that film, so I'm unsure how I feel about being it. Is being like a war film a good thing?